Sunday 3rd July, 11.05, London
Sometimes, I see things in my mind and I cry. But those tears rolling down my cheeks are drops of joy, they are coming from deep down and they are a release, when what I’m feeling inside becomes too much to handle and simply can’t stay within. I will be listening to a song or watching a video that is so pure, so beautiful that I will feel my throat tightening as a smile appears on my face. The emotions will be too strong, I won’t be able to fight as the tears come up to my eyes and make me feel lighter as they water my skin in a sort of purification. Other times, I will be thinking of my life and realise how blessed I am. Thinking of being a lost soul who found her long lost family of souls. After all those years of despair and questioning, I am here, connected with those beautiful people who are so much like me. I cry because it’s been a long time coming, I cry because I am not alone anymore and I can rejoice now. It may not be easy all the time, but I know I have something to cling to. This love I am experiencing is like nothing I have ever felt before. I used to say I didn’t know what love was and truly, I didn’t have a clue. It’s a dangerous thing, this love, as I am afraid I could lose it one day and it is very strong, sometimes to the point of hurting. But its beauty is such that I would not let go for anything in the world. I found my home and my family, I am no longer a lonely soul wandering in the universe in search of answers. I may not have all the keys to open all the doors, but I am on the way, I am looking in the right direction now. When the tears dry, what is left is a smile on my face, a feeling of peace and happiness. At last.